It was a simple text but it was a text that I needed to hear (er well, read) more than I am sure my friend’s friend knew. I had some friends visiting about a week ago. After they left, my one friend’s friend sent me a text saying it was good to see me again and that she would be praying for me when she thought of me. She added, “You’re exactly where you're supposed to be”.
Sometimes life for me here looks like picturesque cliff walks, talking and laughing with people, attending conferences for ministry leaders, playing “Land, Sea, and Shore” during kids clubs, consuming more bread and ice cream than any human being should on a daily basis, sitting around with teenagers talking about prayer, and getting to know people better/building friendships through late night chats or while walking through cities and beach towns.
Other times life for me here is not so picturesque. It’s bursting into tears when it hits me how much I miss my close friends from home. It’s questioning if I have what it takes to do full-time ministry. It’s wondering overall if spending this much time away from the town I grew up in will be worth it. Was it worth it to leave my job and the kids I loved working with? Should I have stayed? Will I have close friends while I'm here? It's longing to just hop on a plane and just spend 15 mins with my entire family, including those cousins that feel more like siblings than cousins and visit one of my favorite parks back home. It’s aching to hop in my car, put on some music and just drive through country back roads or at least drive myself to the gym rather than take a dart then a bus just to get to my gym.
I’ve had friends tell me that they are proud of me and praying for me. I’ve had friends tell me that I’m where God wants me. For whatever reason though, I actually heard my friend’s friend when she told me I was exactly where I was supposed to be. Maybe it was because I didn’t believe it was true those first few times. Maybe my heart was still hardened to the idea that God might have a purpose and reason for bringing me here when He did. Who knows?
For all the times these past 4 months I’ve wanted to pack up and call it quits and go back to pursuing my own plans, I’m actually beginning to believe that God’s plan for me here will be worth it and better than what I had in mind. He has already and is going to continue to push me out of my comfort zone in ways that make my skin crawl. He is going to open my eyes to the world around me more and teach me more about putting others before myself. I’m still going to feel inadequate as a leader, it’s still going to hurt that my closest friends are in a completely different country thousands of miles away, I’m not always going to be understanding about why God brought me to Ireland when He did and I’m still going to miss my car and be frustrated that I can’t drive while I’m here. However God will give me strength, comfort and energy because I am exactly where I am supposed to be, exactly where He wants me to be.
So today, if you are questioning why you are where you are or feeling underqualified to do the things that God is asking you to do today. Know that if He has paved the way for you to do what He is asking of you, He will give you all you need and He will strengthen you and comfort you. You are exactly where you are supposed to be.
“And my God will meet all your needs according to the riches of his glory in Christ Jesus. To our God and Father be glory for ever and ever. Amen"-Philippians 4:19-20
Hope you have a great week!